Day 302.

真的长大了...
看透了风尘，才会发现其实有些东西并不是你想得这么重要。
又何必执着？
Haha.

Was having a chat with a friend yesterday, then got to know from her that my reputation actually not bad among certain group of people, 我还沾沾自喜了一下威
Haha.
So all the 小说 I read are not entirely crap WEIIIIIII
Hahahaha 'cause reminds me of what I read before in the book, like the girl 不争不抢不吵不闹, people will still recognise her efforts.
Which quite similar to what happened to me lah.
'Cause I rmbed that time I just do my part, then event end liao means should move on.
Then this event never got into my records of achievements.
Which I see liao just orh okay lor.
Just a piece of paper.
Doesn't matter lah.
Anyway that paper of mine already full liao wei.
Been through so many stuff, recognition to me like not important liao.
Few years ago when first starting out, I of course will feel undignified when kena mistreated, like laoniang do so much then not even a thank you.
Then think about it, no need bother caring about others' views.
Only you yourself know how much effort is placed, and sometimes think that other people will see everything you've put in.
But it just doesn't work this way.
Humans tend to only focus on the flaws, and therefore uses their own set of ideals to judge another person's efforts and work.
Even I committed the same mistake before, and overlooked the amount of effort one has put in.
Therefore every now and then, I still remind myself try not to err again.
And I do not blame people who only see the results/surface lah, which is really very normal of us.

Back to myself, as long as I'm satisfied with my work, it's enough.
Having other people's praise is just a bonus.
But nothing to be proud about.
And of course, having people's criticism may mean that you have more room for improvement.
Or you can just ignore the person criticism if it's useless comment lah

From the day I stepped into SIT till now, I have rejected leadership roles thrice.
Eh actually is it got more but I cannot rmb lah LOL
Anyway I rmbed 3 lah ok.
'Cause to me, the role is just a title.
Then will have people ask me, "You do so much work but your ROA never record not very wasted meh?"
I am like 一张纸而已你这么喜欢老娘从家里印一百张送给你当废纸
Wei.
I came to realize few years ago that the title does not dictate the amount of work you've done.
So I do not like to use title to limit myself.
And the one without any title is the smartest guy, tested and proven by HK drama wei.
Because no title = no restrictions
Can see the picture clearer
Can have a neutral pov
No need to do work too wei.
Those with title de, not necessary means they do a lot of work wei.
虚名而已，有又如何、没有又如何？

What made me glad was that, I came to know that there are people who are willing to give me face.
And among some people, I still can stay neutral and did not join in the fire.
Trust me, there are people who are really concerned.
These people I am okay to befriend, sometimes I open mouth push a bit, they willing to give face.
'Cause these people really just concerned, meant no harm.
But there are also people who just like to 扇风点火
I just 隔岸观火
I quite chilled one lah
Unless the fire burn too big
If not I won't go cease fire.
Let it burn only no harm.
Need to have some 刺激 in life LOL
Always when got fire, I just roll eye and watch show and hahaha a bit
Ok I quite bad.
But I am just really happy with myself that I am able to look at the big picture, instead of magnifying the flaws.
Hope I can continue to do that haha.
I still remembered years ago, I set a target for myself to be neutral.
I think for this example, I achieved it.
Only this example LOL.

Other things I still learning.
And I'm glad that got people enlighten me.
Because one of the days I was ranting to friend, I compare to GGpen(wei), and said our course teach too little stuff, not in depth enough.
Then he really reminded me.
"You cannot compare yourself one year ago and now. Before you come in, you don't know what is python right?"
Then yah, hahahaha I keep focus on the flaws, keep thinking about what the school didn't give us.
But I totally forgot what the school has given me.
For this example I'm really in the wrong.
I guess I in this school for too long, then I forgot the sense of gratitude I felt in my first year.
But too bad my feedback already give liao LOL
Totally not neutral.
Too late to change rofl.
I'm sorry school
Please forgive me.

That's why when you climb too high ah, you really will forget some things.
最难能可贵的，莫过于能够坚持自己的初心